I'm Wide Awake

Sometimes, I feel lost--traveling inside a sea of random sensations. I always know when I'm going down the correct path, but I can never predict how I'm supposed to feel. It's almost a never-ending cycle. It may be a control issue; I was always a perfectionist in one way or another for a huge chunk of my life. I try to pass down my wisdom to others, regardless of if they're actually going to listen to me or not.

At times, I try too hard. I have to learn when to say something, then take a step back. There are some exceptions, though, but I don't want to prevent anyone from growing. Where I am right now, it's hard for me to be lost, but when I do get lost... I have someone there to guide me back to the light.

There are two quotes from an ex-best friend/ex-fiancée that have stuck with me for a while because they have so much meaning, although they are simplistic.

"Take my hand and bring me down the road to an amazing life together."
"You're the light that guides me through the darkest parts of my heart, and if I were to lose you, I would get lost on my path to the light."

These are held so close to my heart, and it's one of the reasons why I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to that one person who will guide me to that light. That person I can hold hands with me and journey with through the joyous times and and horrific times. The bumps, valleys, and mountains will be in every person's life, but sometimes, it's the person who is there by your side who makes all of the obstacles worth conquering in the very end. Changes will always be made; life is never static (even if you try your hardest to make it that way).

*I'm very distracted by Family Guy, by the way.*

Ugh. This adventure will be different every day; we will learn new things about ourselves, each other, and life. It's gonna be rough at times, and then amazing! I can't wait to explore the deep, possibly endless crevasses of life and the Universe with the one I love. It will all be worth it in the end, but we can never know how we will get to that lovely, longing light.



Autumn <3